The Rules

I've always had my random rules for life, and I'm starting to apply them to school nowadays as I figure out what the existing rules are. I haven't really picked up on a whole bunch of rules, but in particular the shuttles have a certain code that passengers must follow. Of course I continue my policy of never being the first person to enter a classroom (or lecture hall, now that I utilize such rooms for learning purposes) and just grumbling about every minor inconvenience, such as the absolute, sheer, horribly massive weight of the doors on the Darrin Communications Center. If battering rams tried to bust through those doors, they wouldnt be able to. That's how heavy they are. But on to the shuttles, which basically have the only real rules I've picked up on. Basically this is how it goes: you get on the shuttle, make a two second (or less) scan of the seating arrangement. If there are plenty of seats, you sit down. If there are a number of seats open roughly equal to the number of people sitting, you sit, and try to avoid sitting next to some one, in much the same fashion as the 1-3-5 rule applies to bathrooms. If there are three or less seats (this goes for guys; I'm not quite sure about girls, but they're weird anyway so who cares?), you don't even think about sitting. Instead, you pick a spot, preferably NOT the railing attached to the ceiling, and stand up. Either the back window of the bag rack things they have right behind the drivers seat are good for this. Hanging on to the railing makes you look like a weenie, so the standard practice is to avoid it. If you have a seat on the shuttle, and a girl who isn't quite tall enough to reach the railing is standing, you yield the seat to her. This is part of a practice called chivalry, and it definitely applies on the Red Hawk Shuttle. So you're riding on the shuttle. If you've got a seat and there are no inconvenient girls standing, you keep the seat until you reach your destination. The practice for standing is as follows. If you are standing on the shuttle (preferably not holding the railing), you remain standing. When the shuttle stops and three people get off, under no circumstances do you sit down in a newly opened seat. This is a sign of weakness in shuttle riders. There are very few times when it is permissible to sit after a shuttle stop, and those times are ONLY, I repeat ONLY if you are standing and have to exit the shuttle let people off (this only happens when the shuttle is mega, mega full, or at least just plain full). Once you step off the shuttle and are forced to re-enter, it counts as entering for the first time, and the inital shuttle boarding rules apply. In the case of plentiful seating, sit. In the case of few or no seats, find a non-weenie place to stand. Thus are the universal rules of shuttle riding, according to me.

The next rules, which really don't count as rules becaause they apply only to DCC 324, regard the Vandal Desk. The Vandal Desk is the far back row, far right seat in DCC 324. Why, you ask, is it called this? Well, once upon a time I noticed that this desk does not have the shiny white layer (veneer, is it? I'm unsure if that's the right word) on top, so it is just bare brown wood. I noticed that some fool had been making attempts to write down palendromes on the desk, so I immediately whipped out the lyrics for "Bob" (a song composed entirely of palendromes) and began writing. One thing led to another, and soon there were pictures, internet jargon/acronyms, stick figures, and all manner of creative pieces covering the desk, including the "Add a Word to the Story" game. So yesterday I made it official. I wrote down the Vandal Desk Rules:

1. Thou shalt vandalize the Vandal Desk
2. Thou shalt enjoy the vandalism of other vandals
3. Thou shalt add a word to the story
4. Thou shalt not talk about the Vandal Desk

Today I found that someone had written on a regular desk, two desks to the left of the Vandal Desk. This I would not stand for, so I just now added, in huge letters, another unnumbered rule:

OTHER DESKS ARE NOT THE VANDAL DESK
DO NOT VANDALIZE THEM
and kill anyone who does

So we have the Vandal Desk. I'm not the only one who follows the Sacred Code of Vandalism, because every day there is new stuff drawn or written. It's pretty cool to be a part of something like this, where I'm forming bonds with people I've never even met. I don't really care to know them either. Heck, they could be people I see every day, and neither of us would ever know. It sends shivers down my spine. So now I say to you: go out, and create your own Vandal Desks, and spread the truth to colleges and universities everywhere. Just remember: on every desk two things are required: The Rules, and the Add a Word to the Story game (as per rule #3). Go out, go out and vandalize! I only fear for the day when the Vandal Desk is full and can no longer be vandalized. But that day is far off. It will last at least until the end of the semester, and after that I may not have class in here again, so it will be irrelevant.

There's a hidden 14th track called "Blood," and it's really freaking weird. I love it. A minute and a half of silence, and then a crazy weird little song.

The End