Spreading the word: "What is important?"

I read a compelling blog posted by a friend of my brother. Just to clarify, when the author refers to his friend, he is referring to said brother. I've corrected some typographical errors and bracketed the corrections. If you really want to read the original text (which aside from the corrections is no different), go to http://blog.myspace.com/murdoch001. So here it is:

It's a Saturday night and I have for once pulled ahead on my homework in order to spare some free time. My girlfriend is working now so I can't talk to her and I have no obligations. The result is being laid out before you. In a sense this will come across as a criticism or a complaint, but my intention is merely to offer a generalized suggestion based on some things I see around me. The motivation for this actually comes from a situation that a good friend of mine is in at the moment with his family. More than that, it is a situation which so many people deal with on a daily basis. It all stems back to selfishness I think. It's hard I understand to put others before yourself in fact it is borderline impossible. [Bear] with me, there will be no revisions of this…

To non-Christians,

I am sorry that we (Christians) set such a poor example of Christianity and mislead and sometimes hurt you. One thing you must understand is that we are not a religion but rather in a relationship with who we confidently and undoubtedly call Jesus Christ, the Creator [of] all things. This relationship does not mean perfection as human beings nor to we claim to be perfect. We have merely [acknowledged our] state as imperfect people who mess up every day and don't deserve to go to a place of perfection in the end. You see if we imperfect humans [were] to enter into a perfect heaven, it would be corrupted and no longer a perfect place. Since God is perfect and we are imperfect we do not deserve to be with God in the end of all things. A place which God does not exist is what we call hell. It is final separation from God. But that does not mean God sends people to Hell, in fact he wants all people to be with him, he loves us unconditionally, no matter what we do. He invites us all to be with him, and the only way we could be with him was if a human were to pay our price. Since we deserve death and Hell, we need someone to take that punishment for us. This is where Jesus comes in. He came to earth as a perfect human…and he was human, not just a superman. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). Because of this sacrifice we are capable of having the right relationship with Christ. But we have the choice to choose him or reject him. It is not forced on anyone. That's all it took for me, just to admit that I wasn't perfect and believe that Jesus paid that price for me so that I didn't have to go to [hell], and invite him to change my life and better it in preparation for heaven. I know this seems foolish to many, there is so much more than you can imagine, but you have to search for the answers. You can't be lazy when dealing with your life and death. Go find out, ask me, ask anyone, do some research. Prove me wrong.

I hope that you have been able to get through this so far without finding me boring or offensive in any way. I need these above ideas to be understood or you will find yourself judging myself, the situation I am referring to and Christians in general.

I do not need to go into detail on the situation which my friend is involved in. Those who are also involved know exactly what is going on, and those who don't can still benefit from my remarks. The basic idea is that my friend and his parents are having a disagreement that has extended beyond what the situation calls for. He is feeling hated and unwanted. He feels that he has no ability or freedom to make any decision on his own. He feels that the things he is asked to do are absurd and without reason. He feels that his parents are taking advantage of their parental authority. My friend is 20 years old and feeling locked into submission to whatever request his parents make whether morally right or not, whether biblical or not.

My friend's parents on the other hand seem to be struggling with letting go of their son. They are fearful that their son will make wrong decisions and be foolish. They are unsure if he is responsible enough or mature enough to handle life on his own. They fear that they are losing control and are feeling disrespected. This is my understanding of their view on this situation. I know my friend obviously better than his parents.

My friend sees his parents as too controlling and over protective. His parents seem to see him as defiant and irresponsible. The reason I am affected is because this has been going on for too long. This is not a clean fight. Suspicions of lies and deceit have entered the situation. I will not discuss my opinion because it will be unavoidably biased to my friend. I want to make a general suggestion to all parties instead, and as my bias directs the comments, I put the suggestion more to the parents.

I was reading through Ephesians tonight and something hit me. Read this carefully…

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:25-32)

Read it again if you did not get it. "In your anger do not sin". "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry". Only let talk that will build another up come out of your mouth. "Get rid of bitterness". Forgive.

I do not care who is right or who is wrong in this situation anymore. There is no reason to have such battles in a family. There is no reason to have these battles among Christians. This is how we are labeled hypocrites. As Christians, we are watched and judged by non-Christians based on our actions. Sure we aren't perfect, but we must be mindful of who is affected by our example. What is the attraction to your relationship with Jesus Christ[?] Why would someone want to have what you have? You don't seem content.

I want to clarify something. This is not an attack on anyone involved in particular. This is a general statement and if you are offended you must be convicted of it and if so then you must read on.

To my suggestion,

Take Ephesians 4 to heart. This is not about holding to your position anymore. You do not have to be right. It now seems that we sometimes are willing to sacrifice relationships to defend our opinions. Failing to admit when you are wrong if this be the case is Pride. What is important now? When will this change? Is it not possible that there are mistakes in both parties?

I am done now. This may be just a rant. This may be inappropriate. Take it as you wish.

At any rate, I'm missing out on a party that I looked forward to for over a month, I'm not getting to see my friends who came home from school for the weekend just for this, and I basically feel like I've been screwed over completely by this whole situation. I'm tired of the constant presence of trouble in this family. Even on Christmas Eve we can't go without a huge fight over something completely trivial (see "The History of My Life" Volume 18, Chapter 12: December 2005). Maybe we all need to take a step back for a change and just chill out. Well, that's all for now.

The End