More from the Fanatic

So yesterday was Earth Day, and naturally all the environmentalists went wild. In general, environmentalists are completely intolerable people, but as I was walking to the JEC (where I currently sit, rap-tap-tapping away on my laptop, as usual) I spotted a sign that caught my eye. This particular sign suggested buying a refillable water bottle rather than standard bottled water, because the price of bottled water is higher per gallon than gasoline. This is the darn truth. I've never understood people who buy bottled water (unless you buy it in bulk, like by the case). It's just water, and most of the time there are free alternatives to vending machines, like water fountains for instance. Anyway, the point is that I was completely astonished to see that someone out there has some common sense. Then I reached the door of the JEC and saw another sign that said "The best way to warm up cars is to drive them. No more than 30 seconds of idling on a winter day is necessary" and then some griping about how this wastes fuel and unnecessarily increases emissions. In an ideal world, this would be true. However, normally when you get into a car on a winter day, it's freezing cold. 30 seconds of idling does not make a car comfortable, and the driver's comfort is very important. A comfortable driver can concentrate on driving, and a concentrating driver is far more cost effective, because they are less likely to have an accident. So much for common sense.

The weather is so bloody nice. I'm rather enjoying it. However, I suffered a grievous loss over the weekend: the Red Sox swept the Yankees. Nothing good ever comes from such a dramatic loss. I think I might blow up Fenway Park. It's an inferior ballpark anyway. It's opening was eclipsed by the recent Titanic disaster just five days earlier. What the heck is up with that? There is no doubt about it, the Yankees are a far better team than the Red Sox. Joe DiMaggio said "I want to thank the Good Lord for making me a Yankee." When has anyone ever said that about the Red Sox? Answer: they haven't, because the Red Sox is Satan's team. Only a team backed by the evil forces of hell could possibly hire Manny Ramirez, Curt Schilling, and Jason Varitek (the three biggest jerks in MLB) all at the same time. Only the Yankees, the ultimate beacon of truth and hope in baseball, have the power to stop the Red Sox once and for all.

Anyway...some days you just can't get rid of a bomb. That's what Batman said, and I've never heard a truer statement. I didn't even know truer was a word, but since the mega reliable spell check didn't find any problem with it, I assume it must be. That's all for now.

The End