That's just who I am this week

I had the pleasant experience again to day of working four straight games at Colonie Little League. Just like last year, we're already behind a bunch of games because of rain (ahem, snow) outs during the first week of the season. Finally it seems spring is heading our way, or maybe we're headed springward; either way, it's warm now, at least for a day or two before we get nailed by another global warming (ahem, "climate change") induced snow storm in the middle (ahem, last third) of April. Anyhow, every team played today. The first exciting matchup was an astonishing spectacle of a baseball game between Colonie Mechanical Contractors (the visitors) and Daily Gazette (the home). This particular game of six innings lasted two and a half hours. I don't think I've ever seen two teams bat around their orders three times collectively in three separate innings. Fortunately, it was all uphill from there (sort of). The middle two games were mega uneventful. Vellano Brothers beat the living snot out of JT Garry in a 2006 championship reprise (sort of; last year JT Garry was actually a good team, pretty much the only one capable of holding their own against Vellano Brothers. This year, JT Garry is similar to those weird bamboo-esque weeds in the backyard (when dried out) and Vellano Brothers is similar to, say, a steamroller of monstrous batting power). Actually, now that I think about it, that was a pretty beastly game. Nick Donato, a ten year old, hit a grand slam in the top of the sixth inning to cap off Vellano's rally to win the game. In the third game, Jayson Roddy went five for five with five doubles. It was probably the most impressive hitting performance I've seen in a while. The kid was on fire. Apparently I lied; the middle two games were pretty good. Colonie Elks went on to pastify Trumans by a significant margin. The fourth game, VFW against L-Kens, had my interest from the beginning of the day. I'd say it was probably the best all around game of baseball of the day. Ned (a.k.a. Mariano) finished out the last four outs of the game with a meager 13 pitches, and otherwise defense and hitting were good. At least from VFW. L-Kens didn't put up much of a fight, save a few pretty well-hit doubles that amounted to four total runs (not enough, suffice it to say).

Anyway, enough about baseball for now. Baseball is more exhausting to watch than some people would like to think. I'm going to move on to happier thoughts, like horses, pillows, and swords. I don't know much about horses or swords, except that horses have four legs and hooves that say "clip clop" when they walk and that swords are sharp and shiny and sometimes get bloody if you stab someone with them. As for pillows, I'm basically an expert. Pillows are freaking fantastic for laying a head on during a night's rest after a long and weary day doing all sorts of random crap. I've probably spent more time with my head on a pillow than I have doing any other single activity, ever. The very thought of this boggles my mind. If I spend six hours on a given night sleeping, that's six solid hours of my head laying on a pillow. Alas, I just realized (straying back to baseball again) that I spent over eight hours keeping score for Little League games today, so for a one day total I actually spent more time sitting in the clubhouse than I did with my head on a pillow, but unlike scorekeeping I sleep every night of my life (thus far). Maybe when I'm like Jack Bauer I will spend six or more 24 hour days constantly active, never sleeping until the season (or day, as it were) ends. I wonder, when there are no terrorist crises ravaging America, does Jack Bauer sleep in? Is he a morning person or a late sleeper? What kind of books does he like to read? Does he play any video games? Is he really good at first person shooters? Has he ever beaten Rainbow Six? I bet Jack Bauer is awesome at Rainbow Six. His whole life is like Rainbow Six. Does he write novels? Does he give Tom Clancy ideas for novels (for instance, Rainbow Six)? Does he order pizza on a regular basis? These are the things that I will probably never know, unless the writers really run out of ideas for 24 and start filling up time with that sort of thing. I think though, rather than having my infinite curiosities satisfied, I would really just be depressed that a bunch of people so brilliantly creative as to come up with seasons 2 and 3 would ultimately have to resort to Jack's every day life. Suicide would basically be my only option.

And just like that, this blog post dries up like a wet sponge under the blazing sun and crumbles into a million dusty little pieces that float away, to be inhaled by people all over the world and absorbed into the collective spirit of humanity. Then, naturally, said spirit will sneeze, and all my hard work will be lost forever. How upsetting.

The End