March Showers?

I have 41 minutes before 24 starts, so I decided to set aside some quality time to write a blog. Unfortunately, I'm typing on a mountain-sized regular keyboard (as opposed to the nice flat yet still slightly accomodatingly curvy keys on my RPI custom ThinkPad T-60--a beast of a laptop, to be sure), so it's a bit more of a challenge than I'm used to. The reason I'm on a different computer (the one that now inhabits Meg's room, nicknamed "Meg's computer" even though it's actually something of a communal property) is because my own has recently been plagued by a number of absurd worms and Trojans (well, one of each anyway), and I am currently in the process of scanning the absolute heck out of my computer. I was in the middle of a scan not too long ago when my computer up and overheated (what a foolish piece of equipment, that) and turned itself off. I was perturbed, but I realized that I probably needed to just give it some room while it scanned away, so I left it chilling in my room. Hopefully the scan completes this time.

I had a very fun time logging in to Blogger on this different computer. First I put in my password, except Blogger informed me it was the wrong one. So I tried a different password. Wrong. So I tried a third password. Wrong. So I tried the second password again. Wrong. So finally I tried the first password and voila! I was successfully logged in to Blogger using the password it initially told me was wrong. I may have just hit the wrong key the first time around. Or the internet may be retarded. Or both. Probably both, though.

I've been noticing an alarming number of rain and snow type events (you know, precipitation) this month, and I'm frankly about ready to commence with the sunnery. Supposedly March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb (somebody came up with that clever description). However, early this March, when I was on Spring break and a few days after, we encountered some beastly good weather followed by a nice rousing 20 inch snow. I'd say this year March came in like a ladybug, turned into a tyrannosaurus rex, and is now heading sheepwardly, albeit wet sheepwardly. After March come the "April showers" and the "May flowers," but I think this year we're actually getting March showers. Hopefully then May will be ahead of schedule and deliver its flowers; June's bugs will come in May, July's Fourths will come in June, August's...okay, actually July doesn't have Fourths, and obviously August doesn't have anything either. I demand equal representation for months. March has its lion and lamb. April has its showers. May has its flowers. June has its bugs. I think a case can be made that July has its Fourths, even though nobody ever says anything about July Fourths. I mean, people do say things about July's one Fourth and shoot fireworks and stuff, but I'm sure July has plenty of other Fourths. There are 7 (or 8, counting July) months that are totally unrepresented by some kind of symbol. They need a representative.

After a bit of writing and a bunch of absurd interruptions, I'm down to a mere 18 minutes before 24. Life is starting to get exciting now. Babies around the world are at this very instant shrieking. I know that. It's not necessarily linked to 24 in any way, but I figure given the sheer number of people on the planet, there must be lots and lots of babies shrieking. I don't know what the exact statistic is for number of babies born in a minute, but usually when babies are freshly born they shriek. They're also really gross looking until some nurse (or whoever does this sort of thing) cleans them off. After that they become cute little wrinkly blobs that can't even hold their heads up. After that they turn into absolute monsters for a while, until finally they are fully grown people. The baby life cycle is tremendously exciting. I bet it would be a real hoot to see a baby pupate. Imagine if a baby just made a coccoon and metamorphosed between the ages of two and say, ten. After eight years, out pops a ten year old kid, complete with butterfly wings. I would absolutely laugh my head off if that was how people grew. What a scream. It's a good thing babies are just shrieking gross blobs that then become shrieking clean blobs that smell like baby (a good, good smell) and then monsters and then fully grown humans. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Speaking of babies: they bounce.

A hoodie, I've discovered, is largely ornamental and thus mostly a stupid garment. I will continue wearing hoodies despite this discovery, because they have nice pockets and hoods which I almost never use. I'm justified in this, because there are two useful parts on a hoodie that, say, a polo shirt with a popped collar will never have. At least a hoodie, though largely ornamental, actually has practical application if it's raining buckets, cats, dogs, or men. A popped collar will never do anything but be ornamental, and fail at that. Popped collars look extraordinarily stupid. The only thing that looks stupider than a popped collar is perhaps a bald dog. Dogs just aren't meant to be bald. Collars just aren't meant to be popped. Funny, that. It's sort of like the natural order, I guess.

Well, there are now two minutes until 24, so I'm going to head on in to the living room with a bowl of chocolate chips (snacks are a requirement for 24; chocolate snacks are an exceptional bonus) and perhaps some milk for the next hour and enjoy a rousing round of counter terrorism with all my CTU pals. Have fun piggies.

The End